Banana Soy Muffin

May 18, 2005

All I wanted was a Banana Nut Soy Muffin.

all I wanted
Banana=good for you, Whole grain flour=good for you, Soy=good for you, Muffin=could be good for you.

I looked in the showcase and noticed a couple Banana Nut Soy Muffins in there. Instead, the speed talking and mumbling Starbucks barrista shot off a couple of barely understandable questions to me and handed me a bag with a muffin in it. . .a Honey Cranberry Orange Muffin. Which isn't that bad, Oats and Rye in a muffin with tangy Cranberry and Oranges. . .but the damn thing tastes borderline rancid. I was too busy checking my mail to notice before I took a couple of bites.


the new rancid taste

Normally, I would have just bitten the bullet and eaten the whole damn thing, but I really was craving for that banana muffin and I wanted to see how the Starbucks barristas would deal with a situation where they had to spew out more than just a few practiced lines ("Isthatallyouwantsirdamnit?"). I went downstairs to the Starbucks showed my receipt and the muffin.
"Sorryletusgetyouabananamuffin"
"Oopsaharghweareoutofbananamuffinsournextshipmentisateleven"
I blink my eyes a couple of times.
"Ohsorry"
"I don't mind taking my muffin back"
"Herewewillgiveyouyourmoneyback"

I took my muffin back and left, the barrista was left clutching her money. Starbucks' enlightend approach to customer service means solving everything with money while confusing their customers with loud mumbling. Next stop, Tully's?

In all fairness, this is a pretty busy Starbucks in the morning, and a high profile one at that, but if that were the case, I would think that they would do a better job choosing their employees. Either way, Starbucks has an image, the same reliable products at every store, and a set manual for dealing with all situations, including feigning panic when they get an order wrong and trying to solve the situation with money.

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Good Morning!