Driving While Old

October 31, 2005

So yesterday on my way to the grocery store I'm at a light behind this old lady who is stopped a good 50 ft from the intersection. The light changes, the left turners are going with their little arrows, opposing traffic gets its greeny, but we are stuck on red. The light cycles thru and we've gone nowhere. So I look up and I realize that the old bag is not over the wires in the road that trip the light. Deciding it is dangerous to get out of my car, I politely honk and motion for her to move up, move up you dumb ass old bag! She looks back confused and throws up her hands, but does pull forward a bit...just not enough. So we miss another light. And there are now easily 20 cars backed up behind us. Left with no other alternative, I get out of the car...go up to her window...and gently tap on the glass. "Ma'am, you need to pull you car up over the wires, or the light will never turn green." She looks at me like "WTF?" Like this is new technology to her. As if I installed the damn wires myself to trick old ladies. So I adjust my message, leaving the wires out of it altogether. Again gently tapping on the glass. "Ma'am you need to pull up so the light will turn green." She accepts this logic and starts to pull forward. I walk back to my car and the folks behind me who saw it all go down are flat out laughing their collective asses off. But victory, sweet victory is mine, the light finally turns green! We can all go forth and plunder our respective shopping destinations! But I do wonder what she would have done eventually. Perhaps I should have just waited it out...

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